Pat Fri Mar 04, 2022 9:02 am
Here's one. Does this help?
Poetry Group Critiques My Poem
Warm enough, we settle and pass poems
around the table like they are meat and potatoes.
Good images, one poet says.
I like how you have the persona
aware of her surroundings,
but I’m not a fan of this format.
I listen hard, my mind tries to follow.
And I’m not fond of the academic word
in line 3, another says. Wonder if we try “you”
here like Billy Collins does?
A woman laughs and says, Oh yes! and I lobby for
flipping the last and first stanzas.
I grow numb. You know, you might delete
the last stanza—the reader doesn’t really need it.
Yes, just a matter of weeding, another says.
I pull the M&Ms closer to me. The poet
sitting across from me looks at the poem
and says, The poem might start in the middle.
The poet at the end of the table nodded,
Hey, it might! And what if you put the entire poem
in third person and just become an observer?
Then you’d shorten it, I think.
The poet on my right reads aloud, Words
as strong as snowflakes…Now that’s a phrase
that pays! Okay, let’s loop back to the title.
Not sure it fits the poem anymore.
It’s your poem, of course. Thermostat kicks off.
Next poet? Ready for input?