LET MORNING COME

The readers of a monthly newsletter that affords me a first page column prefer a warm, fuzzy piece and not an academic poem that requires them to think... or work.  So I usually give them something like this poem.  Your observations and suggestions are appreciated and they often occasion considerable rewrite.  Dewell


LET MORNING COME

Let the sun pry night and day apart,
Create a horizon between earth and sky,
Paint the wind that herds the clouds.
Let morning come.

Let the edge of warmth creep down
The street, mirror the pond of goldfish,
Steal diamonds from late night dew.
Let morning come.

Let the dogwood tree mourn its
Last leaf twirling in snail breeze
Resisting a fall to obscurity.
Let morning come.

Let the eager dog read the
Nightly news on every blade of grass
As it pulls the early, sleepy handler.
Let morning come.

Let morning come to Miller Estates
Bringing warmth and peace
And blessings to all.
Let morning come.

Dewell,   I like the poem you have written with creative thought and pictures.  The pictures bring warm feelings of what each new day means.  However, since you used "Let Morning Come" as the title I think only once again, maybe at the end would be sufficient.  Now, about the last strophe, since you prefaced this poem with the hows and whys you wrote it, that explains the personal thought and directive placed in it.  I like the picture in that strophe, but it should be made impersonal if you were to do anything else with the poem. (such as asking people who don't live in Miller Estates to critique it.) If you said "let morning come to earth" or something like that then it is generic enough for anyone anywhere to see it for their situation.

Dennis, you might be happy with 365 on the eve of 364.  I am admittedly a fan of repetition. 

Dewell, I don't think you sacrificed too much by making the poem accessible.  I do agree with Dennis on the last stanza.  I would have preferred a less specific "button".  I would also have enjoyed a bit more darkness tossed in with the leaf, but that may just be my dour personality.

Hey Dewell,  thanks for the note on the audience.  That helps.  I would lobby for first and third lines to rhyme.

Let the edge of warmth creep down
Create a horizon between earth and sky,
Paint the wind that herds the clouds.
Let morning come.

I moved the first line of stanza two to the beginning and an example.  (slant rhyme)

Hi Dewell.   I too appreciate the heads up about the audience.   I think most of your readers will like it.   Have you read "Let Evening Come" by Jane Kenyon?   She depends on the repetition and like you, she has simple images.  Do you have Good Poems by Keillor (blue cover)?   or Kenyon's selected readings?   It's in both.   Or just google it.   I am a great fan of her work.  She is not as tight as Clifton or Kooser, but wow!  she speaks to the common woman.  What I'd check out on the last stanza is the abstract imagery:  peace and blessings.   Hard to picture.  I like the particular throughout.   Note on Kenyon's poem where she puts the repetition.  She says it 4 times in 6 stanzas.  Then in the title, of course.   Good luck with this poem.

Pat,  I don't know Jane Kenyon.  I'll google her.  If she is anything like Kooster and Collins I'm sure to enjoy her work.  I first drafted this poem after a dinner party with Billy Collins and his presentation at UC Berkeley.  And I learned a lot about presenting poetry to a large audience that night.  Thanks, Dewell.