The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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An idea from a while back

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

An idea from a while back Empty An idea from a while back

Post  tsukany Fri Jun 24, 2022 6:05 pm

No Snake in the Grass

As this season begins, the mower proceeds 
. . . more lordly than cycles past.  Clearly,
the self-propelled nature inherent in the installation. 

el Toro burns through gas like the precious
juice is three-times cheaper than the previous 
runs.  Line after line.  Corner after corner. 

Relentless. Cutting. Destructive. There. There,
pushed to extinction, a cricket outruns the chewing 
blades.  Jiminy will either grow weary and lose himself
or press his resolve to turn around and stand firm.

–Todd Sukany 12 Jun 2022
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

An idea from a while back Empty Great title...

Post  Pat Sat Jun 25, 2022 4:53 pm

Okay, I went into it, knowing it's not a narrow fellow in the grass. 
I think of mowing the yard, of course.  But it's deeper than that...more lordly.  Wow, that stood out! Powerful and not self-propelled. Line after line, corner after corner...mowing. A process, but the precious juice... 
Relentless. Cutting.  Powerful process. 
A cricket but more.  
If you are talking Jesus, He will stand firm.
I think you are talking cricket and mower, but also mankind and Jesus.  Reader can go any direction with this poem.  
Jiminy Cricket. Deep poem. I see nothing needing change.
Good thinking!  I reread it 3 times... a puzzle but nice.
Btw, I loved Jiminy Cricket, Snow White and those other animations...
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

An idea from a while back Empty Also,

Post  Pat Mon Jun 27, 2022 10:37 am

grasshoppers came to mind.   Probably more biblical?  
I like the poem.  Maybe the heat is getting to me.  We need rain soooo bad.

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