Hello Poets,
Thank you for posting the forum early, Todd. My birthday is the last Friday of November, and I might plead for critical mercy if I posted then. I'm off work today at the end of a long weekend. Monday is not a jolly day for most of the world, but here I am regardless.
I'm worried about the brevity of this poem. Punctuation is bothering me in the last 4 lines. As always, I welcome criticism. If you tell me you loathe the poem, I know you mean that in the most constructive way.
WOMAN AS WINDOW SHADE
Lower your shade
Carefully.
Preserve your privacy.
You must be safely shuttered,
Tucked away, secure, unseen.
Draw the shade
Carefully
To meet the sill,
Lest it flap and clatter,
Roll and snap and coil tightly overhead,
Revealing everything.
Thank you for posting the forum early, Todd. My birthday is the last Friday of November, and I might plead for critical mercy if I posted then. I'm off work today at the end of a long weekend. Monday is not a jolly day for most of the world, but here I am regardless.
I'm worried about the brevity of this poem. Punctuation is bothering me in the last 4 lines. As always, I welcome criticism. If you tell me you loathe the poem, I know you mean that in the most constructive way.
WOMAN AS WINDOW SHADE
Lower your shade
Carefully.
Preserve your privacy.
You must be safely shuttered,
Tucked away, secure, unseen.
Draw the shade
Carefully
To meet the sill,
Lest it flap and clatter,
Roll and snap and coil tightly overhead,
Revealing everything.