The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    So fresh the electrons are still moving

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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    So fresh the electrons are still moving

    Post  tsukany on Sat Dec 20, 2014 7:58 am

    Surreal Decor


    Siberian tiger skin, docile on oak flooring,
    once used stealth and powerful forearms
    to hold victims steady
    until seized by the throat
    and strangled.  This orange-banded
    predator head stares, wall-mounted,
    his teeth and eyes
    polished by maintenance
    at minimum wage.  


    Another dressed-in-stripes
    holds his head high
    knowing DA offices
    are decorated
    by plaques and praise
    for releasing and relocating
    their victims.

    --  Todd Sukany 14 Dec 2014

    dennis20
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    Trophy?

    Post  dennis20 on Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:55 am

    Todd,  Nice pictures.  I'm not sure if you are drawing the type or antitype, but that is the way with poems. Leave it up to the reader.  I guess, in line with the title, it could be about the decor, but it is very human and emotional which touches on the spiritual and leave one with hope.  I like that aspect better.  I really don't like the "polished by maintance/at mimimum wage."  In this pithy picture, I don't see the connection. Ok, I reread it and it makes sense. The cleaning crew in an elite office...  I like the choice of orange for the connection.  Very thoughtful.
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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: So fresh the electrons are still moving

    Post  Karen on Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:32 pm

    Well, here I am less than a week from Christmas, ripping the gift wrap off one poem after another.  It's just plain greed.  I am struggling to write (poetry, non-fiction, fiction) from places other than my tiny world, and I enjoyed this comparison.  I liked thinking about an atypical subject.  It made me want to look wider than the topics that occur to me easily, find out what I know and think about something different for a change.  Thank you for that.

    One thing did bother me.  Is the tiger on the oak floor or the wall?  I'm a little worried he's a trophy head made to look down on his own skin as a rug.  Say it ain't so.
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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Brom Bones

    Post  tsukany on Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:52 pm

    Karen,

    I am glad you noticed the separation of body and head; no additional discomfort was intended.

    p.s.  No actual animals were used in the creation of this fiction.

    Todd
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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: So fresh the electrons are still moving

    Post  Karen on Sat Dec 20, 2014 3:03 pm

    Poetry requiring a wrangler!

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 360
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    SO FRESH THE ELECTRONS...

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:54 am

    I'm having trouble connecting the title to this poem.  Just can't get it to fit.  I see stark truth and irony here... makes me think... wonder if office and home could be occupied by the same person???  I like the minimum wage bit because it is so real... and the cheap labor of the rifle bearer, the cleaning person of the DA's office (my addition).
    And I keep thinking about the messages in this poem.  Thanks, Todd.  Dewell
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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    The title

    Post  tsukany on Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:22 pm

    Dewell,

    I am checking the new format color of text first.  The title of the poem is "Surreal Decor."

    TS

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Surreal Decor

    Post  Pat on Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:19 pm

    Crazy at my house.  Hope I can make sense. 
    Irony and fun.   Surreal:   dreamy, weird, fantastic.   Not real.
    Okay.   Tiger on wall of the rich office.  Strong enough to make victims dead.  But they are killed and displayed on wall.  Owner of office is so proud of it.  Displays it. Poor workers clean the wall mounting.?????   Then the D.A's office:  they walk around in pinstriped suits.   they catch and release?   or Witness Protection.   And they have pride about releasing.  Just like the killers of the tiger:  pride filled, both of them, about what they did with/to the subject.  Aren't we a strange and savage lot????  Don't know if my interpretation is right, but I enjoyed the comparison/contrast.

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