The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Spring is almost here

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Ben Johnson
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Spring is almost here Empty Spring is almost here

Post  Ben Johnson Wed Mar 27, 2019 11:13 am

Hello All,  Your thoughts.

Summer Camp

Two boys went to camp.
One learned to survive
in the wilds where team
was a necessity.

The other learned solo projects
like bomb making and 
how to plant IEDs
in war-torn roads.

The two are destined
to almost meet today
where one will walk away
on two good legs.
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Spring is almost here Empty Dennis, this is good!

Post  Pat Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:06 pm

I like the parallelism.
almost meet....I get it.
I read it to Jimmy. 
Hey, I don't see anything to change.
Sad.
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

Spring is almost here Empty Re: Spring is almost here

Post  renee.barger Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:32 am

I agree, I don't think I would change anything. I got it, but it was sad.
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Spring is almost here Empty Only if you are bored

Post  tsukany Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:01 pm

Ben

I wonder if you can make stanza two a parallel of stanza one?  In syntax

Powerful poem

Todd

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Spring is almost here Empty Re: Spring is almost here

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