The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Welcome New Year (Chinese Year of the Pig)

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Welcome New Year (Chinese Year of the Pig) Empty Welcome New Year (Chinese Year of the Pig)

Post  tsukany Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:01 am

los Brazos de Dios

Behind a crown of leaves, the sun burns.  
  The ridge of Emmons Cliff darkens a carpet of Frog Fruit.  
    Our stream joins another embracing a west then east 
  bank.  We rest with feet in the coolness of its movement, 
the song of the breeze, the joy of the wine.  

--T.A.  Sukany 25 Jan 2020
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

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Post  renee.barger Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:25 pm

I had to look up quite a bit (Didn’t know the river, the translation of the title, or what Frog Fruit was). It was like a puzzle! I really enjoyed it. I don’t have any criticism.
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

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Post  Pat Mon Jan 27, 2020 5:39 pm

Oh yes, I like it.
A poem of place.
Question: Ios or Los?  in the title:  Got "The Arms of God", right?
Love the title for such a wonderful moment in time and place.
I had never heard of Emmons Cliff in Waco or Frog Fruit!   Frog Fruit Smile  I love verbena flowers.  Not sure of the spelling. What a  fun name for beautiful flowers. Of course I used google!
Your indents look like a bank of a river!  Nice job.
Love the first line and embracing later.
Do you need the in front of song of the breeze? I think the others work beautifully.
Congratulations.

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