The Last Friday

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


2 posters
  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic

Life inspired haiku

renee.barger
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17
  • Post n°1

Life inspired haiku Empty Life inspired haiku

Post  renee.barger Sun Jul 04, 2021 9:38 pm

Dead car battery
(ruined our eating out plans)
will not hold a charge.

_______
Renee V. Barger
July 4, 2021
  • Back to top
Admin
avatar
Admin
Admin


Posts : 37
Join date : 2011-05-21
  • Post n°2

Life inspired haiku Empty Fun poem

Post  Admin Tue Jul 27, 2021 7:02 am

Renee

I just saw this.  sorry for the delay

I think it is wonderful.  (Sad that it happened, of course)

What about "dinner or diner" rather than eating out?

I like how the last line can be about the car, change card, or human.

Todd

renee.barger likes this post

  • Back to top
renee.barger
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17
  • Post n°3

Life inspired haiku Empty Sorry I'm half a year late replying!

Post  renee.barger Tue Feb 01, 2022 2:34 am

I had forgotten I had done this! So sorry for the super late reply, but that is such good feedback. I will change that! 

Thanks so much!
  • Back to top
Sponsored content

Sponsored content


  • Post n°4

Life inspired haiku Empty Re: Life inspired haiku

Post  Sponsored content

  • Back to top
  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic
Current date/time is Sun Apr 28, 2024 1:47 am