The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Another symbol poem

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Another symbol poem Empty Another symbol poem

Post  tsukany Sat Sep 26, 2020 8:31 am

What about the "music" in this symbol?

You Guessed It

At dawn, three little bunnies belly up
to mama bear. They are too few 
to avert her attention. Approaching 
the third hour of the day, 

the altricials are beyond numbering.  

As the sixth hour settles in, 
the darkness surrounding mama bear 
is palpable.  Thirty-million nestlings, 
by some estimates, sit in silent testimony.

--T.A. Sukany 21 Sept 2020
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Another symbol poem Empty Music? I'm just trying to figure out the symbols.

Post  Pat Sun Sep 27, 2020 9:19 pm

Oh my goodness!  I'm thinking Easter, Christ and bunny rabbits which multiply quickly.  
Here's how my mind is running:  

I. I'm thinking crosses on Golgatha. 6 hours on the cross. Sabbath is coming.
Mama bear is nurturing, caring.  Like Christ/God who cares about the three men hanging on crosses? 
So you made Christ/God feminine. Okay, She-part. She pays attention to what's happening to Her sinless Son 
as human hanging between two sinners. All three look like needy men/creatures.
Third hour of the day, so is that 9 a.m.?
The altricials are numerous.  Creator's little ones who depend on Her for everything?
Sixth hour settles in:  the hour of Christ's death...3 p.m.? As the hour settles in, darkness surrounding Jesus/Christ is almost palpable.  
Almost touchable and intense. I'm now thinking about the earthquake which shattered the barrier between believers and God. 
Christ died for everyone, even babies unborn who testify silently? But then, we are all dependent nestlings. 

II. I'm also wondering if Nature which is often called Mother Earth is Mama Bear. Nature is caring about the three bunnies/men. Dependency is everywhere. The sixth hour nears. Darkness surrounds the entire earth. 30 million people, up to Christ's time on earth?  They testify silently. No words but here or once here, knowing what was happening. Interesting.

III. I don't know. Shocked  I bet you had fun writing this one! Laughing
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

Another symbol poem Empty Re: Another symbol poem

Post  renee.barger Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:43 pm

I think Pat was following better than I was, but I'll still write where my brain went in case it helps.

I was confused why a mama bear was taking care of bunnies. And why were the bunnies belly up? Submissive like a dog or dead like a fish?

I had to look up altricial which then helped clue me in more. We are helpless like babies and need Someone to take care of us. (meaning Salvation?)


Last stanza, I was thinking of believers from all time under Mama Bear's care.

I'm not sure what to do with silent testimony. I was kind of thinking of a Mary thing where we are just in awe of Jesus... Maybe because I was thinking belly up was submissive in stanza 1. I feel like I'm off here.

I don't know what to do with the title, but I want to get it! It grabbed my attention

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Another symbol poem Empty Re: Another symbol poem

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