I actually wrote a new poem!

I am excited that I wrote more poetry this month. This one I wrote at the beginning of the month. I just reread it, and I’m not sure what to think about it.

Wedding Registry

A high school friend is getting married.
Viewing her wedding registry online,
not much has changed in nearly 4 years.
The same wooden serving bowl
the retail employee labeled as “had to have.”
We shot it too with the registry gun.

My definition of need has changed.
A bed frame - cracked during a move - can wait to be replaced.
Beautiful curtains - 100% necessary when it blocks out 99% of light.

Inventory changes over the years.
Stored baby bottles and nursing pump.
Toys in the living room.
Books overflowing our shelves.
Clothes I’ve held onto with false hope now in a donation pile.

I pull out the wooden serving bowl
deep within the bottom cabinet.
Find the serving spoons
in the tiny awkward drawer we never open.
Hasn’t changed much in 4 years;
barely a scratch.

I’ll pass it on to the new bride

Renee

Nice poem!  

I believe much of your first stanza is contained in the title.  CUT CUT CUT. 

What about ending the poem with:

Part of what I will pass on to the new bride?  (It implies that the content of your poem will also be shared with her in the form of wisdom)

Todd

Great feedback! Thank you!

Wedding Registry

The same wooden serving bowl
the retail employee labeled as “had to have.”

My definition of need has changed.
A bed frame - cracked during a move - can wait to be replaced.
Beautiful curtains - 100% necessary when it blocks out 99% of light.

Inventory changes over the years.
Stored baby bottles and breast pump.
Toys in the living room.
Books overflowing our shelves.
Clothes I’ve held onto with false hope now in a donation pile.

I find the bowl deep within the bottom cabinet,
the serving spoons in the tiny awkward drawer we never open.
Hasn’t changed much in 4 years. Barely a scratch.
Part of what I’ll pass on to the new bride.

____________
Renee V. Barger
September 25, 2019

Sometimes we have to just move on. . . .

Glad you cut most of the first stanza. Not needed.

I wondered about "Wedding Registry for a Friend"...just so I don't get confused.

Love the inventory and the awkward drawer!

I might put "I might pass it" …  leave it hanging rather than nailed down.

Easy to image and I've been there!  

Universal subject.

Pat

I like the suggestion for the title. Adding friend would clarify I think. Thank you!

And thanks for the suggestion the last line. How I wrote it, it felt a little too abrupt now. I think I need to wrestle a bit more, but your comment got me closer! Thank you!

And I'm glad it resonated too. I'm having fun writing again. Next month, I'm planning on sharing a poem I'm working about the wedding.