The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Not sure of the clarity of message Empty Not sure of the clarity of message

Post  tsukany Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:35 pm

Escaped Felon

The black cow. Two green eyes 
lit by my running headlamp. 
A statue at the turnaround.  
Unusual.  Like two reflectors 

at the end of a sandbar.  Like 
two eerie unblinking lanterns 
atop Port Washington lighthouse.   
Like an unwelcoming, obsidian 

wall surrounding a county seat 
using four legs as gate posts.  
Like an immovable red SUV 
out of gas at an intersection.  

Like reality, where the facts 
support its claim of a horse.

--Todd Sukany 22 Nov 2021
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Not sure of the clarity of message Empty All I can do here is tell you what I get....

Post  Pat Fri Nov 26, 2021 9:58 am

I get a black cow outside its fence.  I live in the country.  Seen it many times. Even stopped to tell owners where their cow is.  Thanks for preparing me by saying: Unusual.
Its outline (statue) and its reflecting eyes....like this, like that. 
I like the black cow at the beginning, a horse at the end.  The horse knows what's happening, for real.  The rest of it is imagined and momentary.  Smile   
The horse is inside the fence, I'm guessing. Facts support its claim.
Hey, I think it's great!  I don't see anything to fix. 
How'd I do?  I always know you might present a challenge to me.
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Not sure of the clarity of message Empty Pat . . . Thank you

Post  tsukany Fri Nov 26, 2021 10:02 am

Pat

No twists that were not detected by your keen eye.  

That crazy horse was out of his gate and on the trail.  He looked at us like WE were from another planet.  I assume he knew where he'd left the others and started heading down the trail.  The things one can see BEFORE the sun rises.

Thanks for your feedback.

Todd
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Not sure of the clarity of message Empty Ah ha!

Post  Pat Fri Nov 26, 2021 11:48 am

a crazy horse!  Smile

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