Help if anyone has time

The Least of All Seeds

Jeremiah held the seed
the one mustard grain sister had dropped 
as a gift into his hand before out the door with a shove.
He poked a finger in the loam to free    

the to-be tree into its new home.
The garden spot had been cleared of every weed
and the soil was just so.
With thanks he had taken a knee
 
and looked to heaven (which agreed)
to welcome his tiny present. 
A faithful farmer, Jeremiah worked with speed
to bury the herb, his hand covered in glove.
 
He prayed a promise to protect, water, and feed,
for years to come, their proof of love.

–Todd Sukany 29 Nov 2022

that Jeremiah had a sister.  I read it with the Biblical Jeremiah in mind.
The weeping prophet had a sister! Cool.
I like the gift, too.  He knew what to do with it.
He already had the heart for his hard, hard job.  
No converts, right? Ever...
But he had proof of love. God made the seed into a tree.
He would do the same for changing and developing Jeremiah.
Now, where did I, the reader, stumble?  
At the glove.  That was distracting.
I want him to have blistered, working hands, I guess.  
I don't think he would have worn gloves to protect himself.  He was never about himself.  Sad, probably lonely, but not self-protective.
I'm good with a rhyme scheme, and I get the love and glove, but the glove distracted me.
I love the poem.  Good job!!!

“The Least of All Seeds” – Mat 13:31-32

Jeremiah held the seed
the one mustard grain sister had dropped 
as a gift into his hand before out the door with a shove.
He poked a finger in the loam to free    

the to-be tree into its new home.
The garden spot had been cleared of every weed
and the soil was just so.
With thanks, he had taken a knee
 
and looked to heaven (which agreed)
to welcome his tiny present. 
A faithful farmer, Jeremiah worked with speed
to bury the herb. (A dove looked down from above.)
 
He prayed a promise to protect, water, and feed,
for years to come, their proof of love.

–Todd Sukany 29 Nov 2022

dove, above.  It works well.
I like it.

Pat

Thank you for pointing out that "glove."  (I had a feeling that was a problem.)

Does your interaction with the poem change with the addition of scripture reference?  (The parable of the mustard seed)

I was SO encouraged by your journey through the poem.  I desire to have a "Billy Collins" like experience for poems that I write/read.  (A first look and then subsequent deeper looks.)  Your explication of the poem is very much in line with my desire for the poem, only richer. 

Todd

will be helpful to many.  They can look it up, and hopefully it will speak to them.

I knew the scripture of the mustard seed, so I went with what I already knew.

Todd, I like the direction you are heading.

Pat