I need your eyes and ears on this one...

Folded Letter
   --for Haven
 
Here, the wind, is a detective,
snooping in and out of  yellow forsythias
on the other side of the window.
I picture you with a cluster of women
living independent of parents,
each with a room of her own.
Together, like sisters, you glow
and roar like newborns.
 
I refold your letter.
 
Dear Granddaughter,
Maybe I should be washing dinner dishes.
Instead, I watch the lab snoring on the sofa
and the terrier snuffling in the blue chair,
so like babies sleeping in cradles.
It won’t matter in a hundred years,
but there’s no end to my pleasure
right now.

Pat

I think this is still two poems.  I much prefer the approach of the first poem, less telling and leaves room for the reader.

I wonder if there is too much "writer known" information in the entire poem.

Todd

I took only half of what I needed for my computer to Eureka, so I'm just now looking at email. Many missed you at the retreat, esp. Ray, Diane and I.  Thank you for judging poems....  I won an honorable.  Nice. 
Btw, John Han and Suzanne Rhodes (AR Poet Laureate) were "hits" at the retreat.  Maybe 35 present.  I think I understand a little about haikus now.  I love the process John taught us.  Suzanne showed techniques and quoted poets.  She is helpful.  Traded books with her. I like that Nancy/speakers gave us handouts to follow along with. Auditory is just not enough for me. 

Two poems.  Okay...I hear you.  I always need to be LESS telling and give space for the reader.  As I relook at this today, I see that. Or maybe I just have one poem? The first one. Thank you for your help, Todd.