Trying a little form here. I keep reworking it. Need your wise eyes.

Sending Poems Out and About

 

I help little poems follow air currents,

     slipping behind the house,

          landing atop bamboo shoot swaying.

 

I lift them lively—

     balloons, climbing higher than the barn

          near the woods.

 

I turn them bit by bit—

     hard-shelled turtles, trudging along

          as they cross dirt roads.

 

I guide poems watchfully—

     ivy, climbing limestone structures

          on college campuses.

 

I whistle pieces out of me—

     my way of taking tads of me

          into the world

 

because you are out there somewhere

     waiting for a little light

          for your journey.

Pat

I love the idea of this poem.  I like the lightness.  

I think that turtles is the opposite image of the main sections of the poem.  Keep the images light and moving upwards:  air, bamboo, ivy.

Then the poem turns to preachment at the end:  "I write poems because YOU need me to reader."  The persona just needs to report:  "I send poems out.  There.  That's it."

That's my observation for what it's worth.

Todd

Good feedback.   Thank you, Todd.  Helped me cut it to 12 lines too. 

I had so much fun reading this poem. I don't know if this is what you meant to do with the poem, but I had two images that I think work. Image one: Helping your own poems by editing them and lifting them upward. Image two: Helping/mentoring younger poets. You share poetry with younger poets and help lift theirs up too.

Reading what Todd wrote, I agree. I hadn't thought of those things when I read it, but I see his point and agree.  

Thanks for sharing this fun poem! (And sorry I'm a little late again. Friday came and went so fast!)