The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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After a Long Impressive Run

tsukany
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21
  • Post n°1

After a Long Impressive Run Empty After a Long Impressive Run

Post  tsukany Tue Jun 27, 2023 7:19 am

After a Long, Impressive Run

you straighten 
your shoulders,
lift your chin
far above others, 
fill your lungs 
then release 
the swoosh 
of hot air 
to inflate 
your balloon.

– Todd Sukany 24 Jun 2023
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Pat
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12
  • Post n°2

After a Long Impressive Run Empty Smiling...

Post  Pat Tue Jun 27, 2023 8:05 pm

Good, good, good. I think I follow it...maybe it's universal and probably on more levels than I can see.  An athlete, a politician, a bully, big sister, a control freak, etc.  Is that right??

Smiled all the way through it. I knew you were going somewhere with it!

I like the simplicity, the last line, swoosh of hot air, showing the process...

Well said.

Proverbs has plenty to say to me about that prideful part.

Good job...good poem. 

(Just back from Iowa...exhausted... Nationals Poetry Convention.  Looks like Slam Poetry is being invited in because we need younger people.  It's a big change.)
I'll get a poem here in a day or two.
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Current date/time is Sat Apr 27, 2024 5:09 pm